The Darkness Within Her
by XenaYvonne
Summary: Laney is broken, and Corey and Lenny want to know why. They soon discover that they are in over their heads, and that Laney will have to overcome her depression herself. Will she be able to defeat the darkness within her, or will she be consumed by her pain?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

This is bad. This is _really_ bad. I couldn't help it, to be honest. I wince, then smile, enjoying the pain. I giggle. Uncontrollably, might I add? Slowly shutting my tired eyes, I let the stained blade slip from my bloodied hand to the floor. The deep, rich liquid contrasts with the delicate baby-blue hue of the tiled flooring as it spills from my trembling arms.

I drop down to my weak knees and collapse to the side, facing the door. The vicious, red, familiar substance gushes out from both of my forearms. I watch in pleasure as it pools in large areas, a smirk on my face. A loud, violent banging echoes throughout my clouded mind; someone obviously wants into the bathroom. My eyes dart to the locked, wooden door, but I make no gesture to open it.

"Lanes? Laney, open this door!" An image of pure concern slowly melts across my placid expression. No one calls me Lanes besides… _Corey._ "Laney!" He sounds panicked. "I'm going to bust down this door, okay…? Lanes?!" My voice too hoarse to respond. The last thing I remember seeing is the blue-haired boy hurl himself through the door, and embrace my crumpled body. My blood and his tears swam together as he quickly, yet gingerly, lifted me up from the tile floor, and ran for help.

I lock my eyes with his one last time, before sliding into a deep, unconscious state, and drown in my own thoughts. I try to clear my mind and focus on the pain, along with the rhythmic swaying of Corey's arms wrapped around my slack figure as he ran towards- well, wherever help was. Darkness consumes my every being, and I relax, waiting for death to come. But it doesn't. So I explore the vast, empty rooms of my lonely mind, and I wait there until it is time to wake up.

" _Lanes…"_ The whisper reaches me through my unconsciousness, sending electricity through my veins. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I jolt awake to find myself in a hospital bed. I am surrounded by people. I blink a few times, not used to the bright light of reality. Kin, Kon, my mom and dad, an unfamiliar nurse, and… Corey Riffin. I meet his eyes for only a few seconds, before I am practically tackled by his warm essence. I grunt in pain as I remember why I've always hated playing football in gym class.

Corey begrudgingly pulls himself away, not wanting to hurt me. My weak eyes well up at the sight of his. They were showing so much emotion; sadness, happiness, guiltiness, and the list goes on. I had hurt him, and I couldn't help but feel that broken his ever cheerful spirit.

"Hey," he whispers, smiling. "Hi, Core." I smile back, tears streaming down my face. I embrace him with all of the strength I have. He returns with the same level of emotion, and I nestle my face into his neck. He doesn't seem to mind. It isn't long before our tender moment is interrupted, by the others holding on to me as well. Even the nurse hugs me. Why? I have no clue.

After a while, everything calms down and people start visiting me. Even Lenny, my best friend from the Newmans band, comes to see me. Everyone tends to treat me as if the dead has risen, everyone besides Corey. The only people currently in the room are my parents and Core. I wonder if I had been… absent for a while.

I beckon my mom and dad over, to sort things out. "Corey saved your life," my mom says, thankfully gesturing to Core, who was lounging in a chair at the corner closest to the hospital bed I was stationed in. "If he hadn't reached you when he did you would be… gone." _Damn. So close. Why won't they just let me die?_

"How long was I out?" I ask. "Three weeks." Dad says. "We were starting to lose hope, but Corey promised us that you would wake up, eventually." My mother nods in agreement. "He came and stayed with you every night, so that if and when you woke up, he would be the first person you'd see." I rolled my head over my left shoulder to look at Corey. He's so sweet… but why now after all these years?

"You didn't have to do that…" I said to him, but he just shrugged it off. "I care about you, Lanes, and I wanted to spend every second making sure that you were okay. I don't know what I would've done if I had lost my favorite bass player and best friend." Again, why now Corey? "We'll leave you two alone to talk things through," my dad offered. I nodded, wearing a plastic smile.

As soon as they shut the hospital room door, Core practically jumps up out of his chair and is instantly at my side. I scoot over so that he could join me in the bed. Before I know it, we collide together in the sweetest hug ever. With his arms still around me, Corey talks into me, not wanting to ever let go. "Lanes, why?" he asks, showing pain through his muffled voice, "Why would you want to… _kill yourself_?" I let hot tears spill from my eyes. "Corey, you couldn't understand… I'm not worth shit…"

Corey abruptly peels himself off of me, his tone accusing. "Laney, why the hell would you even _think_ that?! You mean the world to me…" he says, the last part barely audible. I had never seen Corey so upset, so broken down. I had hurt him more than I could ever imagine. I pull him back into me, clenching his shirt. His arms are welcoming, as they snake back around my fragile torso. And for the first time in a long time, I am happy.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It's been about a month since my last attempt to end my life. Yes, I've tried to do it before… just not around Corey. To be honest, it feels great to be out of that lame hospital bed. Lenny and I stand outside of the hospital, taking in the fallen leaves and the crisp autumn air.

I'm eager to get back into my normal daily routines- you know, a little bass playing here, a little depression there- normal Laney activities. But Corey is being that "over-protective brother" again. He just won't let me out of his sight! Yeah, okay, I'll admit it… I DID love Core, for the longest time, but he never seemed to notice. So, I kinda sorta got over him. Don't get me wrong, he's still my best friend, but I've started crushing on someone else.

"Laney, Laney, Laney. What am I going to do with you?" Lenny sing-songs to me, a stern, yet playful, expression on his face. I smile at him and throw my hands up into the air, as if I were surrendering. "I promise to never do it again." I declare. He doesn't buy it. "Look, Lenny, I was really upset…" My tone is serious now as I slowly put my hands back down and let them rest on my hips. Lenny glares at me from the side. "I know, but you did promise me that we would commit suicide on the SAME DAY." He says, annoyed. I roll my eyes and turn away from him, arms crossed.

Lenny approaches me, and cautiously wraps his arms around my waist. "Will you at least tell me what happened?" he asks. "You'll find out soon enough," I retort, quickly removing his hand from my tense body. He cocks his head at me and adds sarcastically, "What? Are you afraid that Corey, the most handsome, badass, wonderful- yet somehow oblivious to everything- guitar player will see us? Don't you think by now he'd already be here if he actually cared about you?"

I tear up and furiously shove Lenny away. Wide-eyed and frantic, he catches himself by grabbing onto a nearby bench. "Wow, Laney, your face is as red as your hair… I-I'm sorry." Lenny says, stepping towards me, realizing his mistake. Our faces are only a foot apart now. "You're an ass." I reply before clinging to him, tears sliding down my cheeks. He just holds me there for a while, stroking my short, messy hair. "I know, honey… I know."

 **So… Hi. I'll try to post every so often or whatever. R &R please. **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Corey is finally letting me do things on my own without his or Lenny's assistance, after two months, and it feels great. He even let me go to the bathroom without him standing just outside of the door, checking on me every five minutes. At least when I was around Lenny, he'd didn't really care if I unmonitored, since the both of us are suicidal freaks.

As of right now, Lenny and I are pushing our way through the three feet of snow currently blanketing Peaceville, towards Core's garage, where we hold our usual band practices. Grojband has really been a nice distraction from my usual episodes of sub-psychotic rage. Sometimes, I even forget how corrupt I truly am when I'm just jamming out to a mellow bass line.

Lenny wraps his right arm around my shoulder as soon as he notices me shivering. I didn't expect the temperature to be similar to that of Antarctica's, so I'm only wearing a thin, black jacket over my usual daily attire. "You really need to start wearing warmer clothes, Laney. You'll freeze to death!" he says, guiding me through the powdery layers of snow. "Then I guess you'll have to… warm me up," I flirt. He rolls his eyes and gives me a quick kiss on my chilled nose. Lenny's warm and soft lips are enough to make me blush, and I don't blush often. He chuckles at my flushed face as we continue our trek up the snowy path to Corey's house.

When we walk up the driveway toward the garage, we already see Corey waiting outside, for me obviously. Lenny removes his arm from me and pecks my cheek. "I'll come and get you after your practice. I have to go run some errands with Carrie, and you know how she gets when I'm not there on time," he sighs. He then nods at Core in a "see-ya-later-bro" type deal before turning away and starting back down the way we came.

Corey holds the front door open for me, so that I could easily slip through the doorway. _What a gentleman,_ I think, scoffing to myself. We start heading towards the garage, and Corey starts up a conversation.

"My parents aren't home this weekend," he says, grinning, "so I was thinking I could have a party." I smile back, because it felt necessary. "Sounds like fun," I reply, "but how are we supposed to get the booze? I mean, Trina's in college now, and she was always the one to get the alcohol." Still smirking, he says, "Believe me, Lanes. I ALWAYS find a way to get booze." I knew that much was true, on account of how many raves we threw our sophomore year. I giggle at the memories.

Core and I enter the garage to find Kin and Kon waiting for us. We start checking our equipment, and soon we're rocking out to our latest songs. About halfway through our rehearsal, our favorite old-time groupies, Kate and Allie, now freshman, came over to hear us play. Corey had to figure out a way to get lyrics, since his sister was gone, so we started using some of my song ideas. Sometimes, Core could come up with some song lyrics that weren't half-bad, so everything was cool.

Five hours practically fly by, and soon the twins and the groupies had to go, leaving me with Corey. I sit on the stage, playing with my bass, while he lays down on the couch. "So… Lanes. How are you?" he asks, watching me fiddle with the knobs that control the volume on the instrument. "I'm fine," I reply, without looking up at him. If he were to look into my eyes, he would know that I was lying. Corey sighs. "Look, I wanted to ask you about th- "

It was at this time Lenny decided to show up, making his entrance known. He was probably listening in to my conversation with Core and knew that he wanted to interrogate me about the… incident. _My hero._

I hug Corey goodnight before leaving the garage with Lenny. We get to my house at about 11:13, and since my parents aren't home this weekend either, Lenny stays the night. We cuddle up on my bed and watch our favorite horror movie, the original _Halloween_ movie, and then we go to bed. He slept with me in my room, since there really wasn't anywhere else. Believe me, it was just sleep! Lenny and I were both exhausted, so we really didn't feel like fooling around.

When I finally _do_ fall asleep, I dream up several ways I could meet my brutal end, some prettier than others. My beloved darkness surrounds me in my slumber, and I gladly allow myself to be completely consumed by its dense clouds. Tomorrow morning, when I wake, I know that I'll feel refreshed, as if I had been baptized in my depression. Oh, how I love my sick and twisted ways.

 **Hello, again. Please leave behind any criticism or advice. Have a good day/night. ^_^**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I wake up at about 8:47 AM, with my face buried in my pillow, which was making it difficult to breathe. I lift my head up and find that most of my makeup from yesterday had transferred itself into the soft, cushiony fabric. _Just great,_ I think, groaning inwardly. Lenny is snoring softly beside me, and I glance over at him. He looks so peaceful, but I know that there is also a war taking place inside of his head. I'm not the only one who's going through depression. I smile, then snuggle up closer to him, falling asleep once again.

 **LANEY'S DREAM**

I look down and gasp, discovering the hospital gown I was wearing. I then become aware of my surroundings. The hospital. The one place I so desperately want to get away from. I am strapped down to an operating table, the cool metal pressed up against me. It feels like an eternity before the nurse finally shows up to sedate me, as usual. But this isn't my normal nurse.

She looks to be a few years older than me. She has long, sleek, black hair. I cannot see most of her face because she is wearing one of those strange face masks that you would wear when you're sick. Her eyes are grey, not unlike mine, and she wears her eyeliner thick. The nurse's outfit she is wearing is jet black, and it contrasts with her pale skin. Oh, her skin. Bruised, scarred, burnt.

This mystery nurse approaches me, her head cocked to the side. After studying me, fixating my every flaw, she slowly straightens her head as she says in a tranquil tone, "Don't worry, Laney, everything will be fine," God, she sounds exactly like me. She removes her face mask, revealing what was hidden. She **IS** me! She laughs at my widened eyes, my dropped jaw.

"You're wondering who I am… _what_ I am." dream Laney says, grinning. "Well, let me start off by saying that I come in many forms." I cannot form words to respond, too taken aback by this strange dream. "I usually arrive in the form of fear. I am the shadows that seem to move, the ones you make up I your head. I'm also derived from one's depression. In your case, I come in a special form. I represent yourself. Let's just save time and call me your Darkness." She quickly glances to the clock on the wall, above the operating table I'm secured to. "I don't have much time, but I promise that you will see me again." And just like that, she was gone.

 **BACK TO THE REAL WORLD**

I jolt awake, sensing movement around me. "Laney? Are you okay?" I hear Lenny ask, but I don't reply. Instead, I stumble out of my bed and rush to the bathroom that was connected to my room. I quickly lift up the toilet lid, and allow myself to throw up anything and everything I had ate yesterday. Lenny rushes into the bathroom and holds my hair back while I vomit.

After I finish, I brush my teeth and rinse my mouth out several times. I lean up against the marble sink, trying to steady myself. I don't dare look up into the mirror that hangs above the faucet. "Laney, what happened?" Lenny asks, concern dripping off of his usually mellow voice. "I saw myself for who I truly am," I say, bleakly. He gently guides me from the bathroom, back onto my bed so that we are both sitting, facing each other. He looks at me, pleading, wanting to know everything. "I saw my Darkness."

 **Ooh, a cliff-hanger! Sorry, I'd keep writing this, but I have stuff to do in the morning so… Leave me your opinions and ideas, please!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I couldn't help spacing out while Corey sat on the stage and updated us on how well the band was doing. He talked about gigs, sponsorships, and such, but I didn't hear a single word. I just can't tear myself away from the thoughts pulsing through my mind. I see her around every corner now. In every dark shadow, in every gust of wind, in every sound around me, I sense her presence. I can almost hear her laughter, MY laughter, taunting me. She is driving me further into the abyss of insanity, and I can't stop her.

I try to calm myself by keeping my tired eyes glued to my feet, one of which was bouncing on my toes uncontrollably. I try to keep my weak arms from shaking, but I fail miserably. My anxiety was bad enough, but lately, it's been off the charts. I don't blink, knowing that if I were to close my eyes for even a second, I would fall asleep and be at the unmerciful hands of Darkness. I only focus on my feet, caught up in their rhythm of uncertainty.

" _Laneyyyy,"_ I hear her calling to me, but I try not to acknowledge her existence. _"Laney, aren't you listening to me?"_ I squeeze my eyes shut, as tight as I can, letting a tear melt down my face. I feel a warm touch on either side of my face. _"Lanes?"_ Lanes? "Lanes, are you okay?" My eyes open in a flash, and the first thing they notice is Corey Riffin, who is standing about a foot away from me, hunched over, and holding my face in his soft hands. Concern has slowly spread over his gentle face.

"Lanes, I know something is wrong," Core starts, "you haven't said anything since you've gotten here, and I can tell from the bags under your eyes that you haven't slept well in a while. What's got you so upset, Lanes?" Apparently, Kin and Kon have noticed my behavior as well; they both look worried. "Yeah, Laney," Kin says, "you haven't even looked up from the ground in, like, two hours." Kon nods in agreement. Has it really already been two hours?

I comb my fingers through my short, messy hair, and sigh, my breath shaky as I exhale. I contemplate whether or not to tell them about my worsening depression. In the end, I decide that they had waited long enough without asking questions, so I explain everything. I tell them about the nightmares and Darkness, and how she stalks me through my fears. They don't say anything when I finish speaking, they just stare at me, jaws dropped. I look back down to the cement under my feet.

"So," Corey finally says after a while, "how do we stop this… Darkness?" I look up, then laugh, more than I probably should. "You… _you_ can't stop her… *giggling*… You can't just get _rid_ of the _dark_! Darkness will ALWAYS come after the day… I have to figure out how to control this myself," a retort, my tone mocking. Their faces are painted with uncertainty. "Just… don't worry about me, guys. I'll figure it out." I smile reassuringly, get off of the couch in the garage, and slowly make my way up the stairs. I can feel their eyes, watching my every movement, until I close the door, which leads into Core's house, behind me.

I practically sprint into the bathroom, and after shutting the door, double-over and throw up again, clutching my stomach. I rinse my mouth out and lean up against the wall next to the door. I can't resist her now, my body begging me to sleep. My mind lulls to a stop and I am trapped in my self-conscience with Darkness, so I let her pull me deeper into the dream….

 ***Casually slips in another chapter***

 **Tell me what you think! Your opinions and criticism matter!**


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